You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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