i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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