Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
