South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
