He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
