Already got asked if we're dating
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
