Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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