Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
