That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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