Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
