Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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