Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
