Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
