wat bout pragnant strippers??
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize