WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
