New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
