When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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