she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
