I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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