I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
