I accidentally had phone sex last night
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
