Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize