I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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