holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
