Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
