then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
