Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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