butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
