Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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