omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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