Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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