I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
