My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
