like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
