oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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