I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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