i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
