Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
