I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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