A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
