i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
