remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
