so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
