ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
