Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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