Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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