Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry binphil hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?

Fav 6 852 1880
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM

(616): View more from Michigan

Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

wait... oh

Fav 9 3717 1200
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

Fav 51 888 5886
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that

Fav 6 5817 881
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff

Fav 2 3116 1057
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

Fav 6 4210 996
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.

Fav 12 6699 1235
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

Fav 2 967 727
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.

Fav 0 25 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT