I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We are all done wearing pants today
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize