I am puke
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
