just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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