Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
