Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
