do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
