____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
