How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
