do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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