What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
