last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
