Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
