i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
