it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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