When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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