Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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