Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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