is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
