it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
